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Forcing our children to attend college right out of high school: right or wrong?
05 January 2010
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My oldest son recently told me that his mother (she and I have split custody) told him that "college is not a decision; you're going." I thought about that for a minute and wondered 1) if I have any say in the matter (yes, I do.) and 2) if it's right for parents to force their children into college right out of high school. While I see both sides of the issue, it seems counterproductive for children to be forced into college directly after high school graduation.
I understand the importance of a college education; I attended college for ten years. My experience in college did not begin, however, until I was twenty-three years old. In high school, I was one of those students who would rather be out in the woods smoking and drinking than in class listening to the teacher trying to explain to me the meaning behind "Ode on a Grecian Urn," an interpretation I don't think Keats would have appreciated either.
Desire to leave high school became so strong for me that I dropped out just 4-1/2 credits shy of graduating. Stupid? Sure. Of course there were steps I could have taken to keep my self in line, but I had other things on my mind at that point, and not one of them involved school. I dropped right out and into two jobs and an marriage engagement, the last of which did not work out. So, by nineteen, I had moved into my own apartment (after living with my uncle for a year), had begun working a full-time job at a fruit packing plant, and could not have been happier living on my own.
It was not until I turned twenty that I received a GED. My grandmother talked me into that one, for which I thank her. I started going to the library more and more and checking out books on philosophy, psychology, and mob life--this one is not as academic, I know, but it was an interest of mine. The more I read, the more I wrote. The more I wrote, the more I realized that I needed better writing skills. So, with my interest in philosophy and psychology and writing, I decided at twenty-three to apply to the community college. The rest, as they say, is history. I now hold two Master of Arts degrees, and I am happy that I went to college.
A college education is important, and I understand that, but I also know that if I had gone to college right out of high school, I would have failed miserably, because I hated being in the classroom. From the time I turned eighteen, to the time five years later when I began college, I worked one to two full-time jobs and paid my own rent and bills. I gained much needed life experience and figured out what I wanted to do and did not want to do through many of those experiences.
I did not want to work in a factory for the rest of my life, or sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door, or work in a lumber mill, or serve fast food, or insulate pipe and duct. I did all of this and more, and I wanted more out of life. However, I would not take back any of the experiences I had, because they prepared me for the road I had ahead of me in college. Those experiences helped me to focus my energies on getting my education. My focus was strengthened by the fact that I was married and at twenty-six had my first child.
My sons will understand the importance of a college education to their intellectual and social growth, but they will also understand that, in order to properly use the education they receive, they will need life experience, some knowledge about how the world around them works. This is why I would rather have my children wait at least two years before attending college so they can live and
work, then decide for themselves whether college is right for them and what field they want to study. Certainly, I will support them if they, or one of them, decide to attend college right out of high school; some kids just like school and want keep going right through from high school graduation to college graduation. However, if either of my sons has the attitude toward high school that I had, then he may need some time off.
Failure is not something I want for my sons; I have taught young college students for almost a decade and, typically, it's the students who say Mom and Dad told them they had to attend college who get the worst grades and sometimes leave college altogether. This is not productive, and I want better for my kids.
So, do I think parents should force their children into college when children are fresh from receiving their high school diplomas? No.
What do you think?
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