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Warnings for Facebook users
04 February 2010
Not to say that most people involved in social networking sites joined them with malicious or devious intentions, but the negative side of something as seemingly innocent as Facebook keeps emerging. Most users are probably logging in without a clue as to the potential for damage caused by their interactions. According to the UK publication, The Telegraph, Facebook is cited as a cause in 20% of the online-divorce petitions there http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/6857918/Facebook-fuelling-divorce-research-claims.html
Facebook can be fierce. At this point, it’s not surprising. Imagine someone has a jealous spouse who may tend to fly off the handle over reconnections with past love interests. Or, there’s the spouse who has become bored with the status quo of his/her life, and falls into the warm and fuzzy, validating (falsely or not) world of Facebook, and “Kablam!” People will find themselves reevaluating their lives, and if not careful, believing a different path to be more attractive. The reevaluation is nothing new, in the ‘mid-life crisis” sense, at least.
Reestablishing relationships with people from the past can be a good thing to reaffirm our choices in this life, and quite cathartic when handled properly. It’s when reestablishing those relationships, or merely revisiting them causes questions of character, integrity, and life choices all around. Being on a Facebook type of site regularly keeps personalities, faces, and people in plain view, somehow distorting the lives from which the users are diverting themselves.
Last year, a woman in England was murdered by her jealous boyfriend because of her Facebook activity and change in relationship status (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1212741/Man-jailed-Facebook-murder-partner-changed-status-single.html), and it was dubbed a “Facebook Murder.” Another woman learned of her husband’s intentions to divorce her via his wall post (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1136503/Husband-dumps-wife-online-message-worlds-divorce-Facebook.html). Relationship status can be changed, thus inciting the wrath of the scorned. Wall postings can be spiteful, and divorce attorneys and private investigators love it for the ease with which potentially incriminating information from flirtatious messages can be divulged. Various blogs have addressed some of it while in progress, news segments have been run, articles written, and books and screenplays are sure to follow.
None of it is very pretty once the details emerge. There is story upon story offering explanations as to why some relationships from the past should have remained there. There are other stories of cyber affairs from all the way back when email and chat rooms became common, and the adverse results to marriages. The craziest stories, those only seeming suitable for a movie of the week, are actually the true ones.
Is there a caveat for social networking sites? Not officially, but a little common sense should be used before posting our lives out there. Some honest questions about ourselves and our intentions may need to be asked before joining a site, and/or accepting some friend requests. Ground rules may have to be set once some questions are answered. When all that is said and done, it will have to be up to the individual as to how to proceed. Whatever the case, once logged in, proceed with caution.
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