The party will flow with your mood
16 September 2009

A gathering, whether just some family, friends, or a larger party — it doesn't matter, but things simply need to flow, as though assuming a rhythm from beginning to end. Almost like telling a story, with an introduction, a beginning, a middle, building to a climax, and hopefully a happy ending. When this all happens successfully, it winds up like a good book, and remains as a pleasant memory.

After a good party (especially, if it's one I have hosted) it's almost as entertaining to relive it the next day, focusing most on what turned out beautifully, and what could be done differently the next time.

So, how do you find a way to ensure "flow?" Focus on the reason for the gathering. Consider the setting, and what makes you most comfortable, or what puts you in the right mood. If there is a certain room in your house you would like your guests to gather to promote the atmosphere, steer them in that direction upon their arrival. Easier said than done, sometimes, but it can be done. Have ample seating, flowers, a bar, or tray of drinks, and appetizers to lure the guests into the chosen area. Have as much done before the party as possible, so that the temptation for gathering in the kitchen is minimized. From there, the party will assume a life of its own.

When it's a larger group, a schedule - on paper! - is a must. For smaller, informal occasions, relying on sticky notes is just fine. Depending upon the comfort level as host, this may be something handled blindfolded. The usual prep goes on before the party, like setting the table, arranging seating in the room of choice, putting on music, lighting candles, setting up the bar, etc.

Know what your guests like, and have those things on hand. If you don't normally drink Scotch, but you know one or two of your guests do, then by all means show them you considered them and have the preferred brand available (i.e. there are Dewar's drinkers, and there are J&B drinkers, and the two are usually not interchangeable.) Make the effort to tend to details. Even if it is never spoken of, it will still be appreciated by your guests on a sublime level. However, continually just expecting guests to make do with what is presented, guess what? They remember that, too, and is eventually taken as a deliberate slight.

Focus on making things comfortable and enjoyable. Show guests they are genuinely welcome, and the mood of a gathering should springboard from there. Don't be so concerned about specific things throughout the gathering, or stressed about the outcome that you forget to enjoy yourself. The mood of a party, whatever the size, radiates from the host.

Now, how to deal with the dilemma of getting those Scotch drinkers to want to leave. Hmmmm.